re: your paper

this is in response to the queries and comments posted by sapphire, wrong shakira, damn no shaphirra. sorry for that.

anw i must say i dont expect the queries. after 21 years in singapore you are expected to be docile and follow the rules, not question them. in any case, here is the response. say, you are driving your father's volvo (ooh gossip) back to maju camp for ippt and accidentally knocked down the iron picket that says 'oc alpha'. obviously, other than incurring the wrath of oc alpha for occupying the space for his avante (ooh gossip gossip), you would have to pay maju an iron picket right? now on the other hand, if the iron picket accidentally falls on your volvo, who would be responsible? well you can hire a lawyer to fight your case, but lawyers just disappear off with money dont they? it is very much a pro-business environment. as for the question on insurance, i am pleased to announce that our partner insurance company, la'viva do cover such incidents. for a monthly premium fee, you get your reporting profile restricted to friends only, friendster-like. so go ahead, flood me with your gossips with a peace of mind!

i think you have some misunderstandings. the daily, monthly or yearly refers to the payment mode, not the frequency of publishing. the frequency of publishing really depends on you guys, and maybe a little bit on the amount of payment made. just that little bit. but i guess it still returns to your point... but hey, it is not my fault is it?

on the last note, i dont know what you mean when you said you can provide 'guaranteed juicy info', cos all i know is that you are the subject of most gossips now. maybe that is another way of selling yourself into the limelight.

cheers,

your paper

hmm.... sounds good.... but there are a few considerations..

how can the reader be liable to the editor while the editor not be reliable to the reader, especially when the paper is maintained strongly on its 'connection' with the people...
hmm... so does it cover informants insurance incase their guise are exposed??

The option of the monthly newsletter is good but the yearly is absurd... its too long la... and do you have enough news coverage to provide weekly ones?? (gossips dun come cheap you noe)

can i exchange your sub fees with garunteed juicy info??

still... im for YOUR PAPER!!!!!

*PS: I LIKE YOUR FREE GIFT.*

i guess it is time to end the episode of 'Discovering the Ancient Secret of 505'.

and i guess by now, most of u already know that i am not junwei.. and Yes, i am someone close to him.. i'm not his girlfriend nor am i his cousin.. we shared most of the things.. and Yes, up to the extend of different race and sex..

i hate to say this..

Sorry Mr Phua.. I am PS3 aka ah lu

confirmation of subscription to your paper

in response to -ahem- overwhelming demand for your paper (you know my paper? now this is YOUR paper), i have decided to start charging my beloved readers, very much in line with the current socio-economic climate. after all, why be the one getting charged with every little thing when you can charge others instead?

anyway for those interested, please read the following important terms and conditions:

1. the editor (that is me) accepts no responsibility for cases in which readers get the boot from their bosses, literally or not, due to addiction to your paper. so dont come asking me for compensation if you do not notice the boss behind you. a little piece of advice: have a mirror next to your monitor.

2. however, unfair as it may seems, readers are liable for any damage cost incurred as a result of the sacking of the editor from his job at ulu boon lay due to excessive time spent on reporting. it would work out to be $1300 per month until may - $950 to the editor's bank account, $250 to the editor's cpf account, $50 in gst, $30 in service tax and $20 to the community chest. thank you for your support.

3. your paper is a revoluntionary paper. it has a meaningful name for starters (think: lianhe zaobao and lianhe wanbao), but of course its uniqueness lies in its connection to readers. here is how your paper works: readers with gossipy news (like the one on kaiyang) start a conversation with the editor on msn, the editor acknowledges without giving out ntuc vouchers or free samsung phones and you will see your report in no time. that is why i call myself the editor, not reporter because i dont report. i collect information and broadcast it. well it is your paper after all!

4. do not spam the editor's mailbox, be it news or not. strictly no substitution of subscription fees with enticing offers of free sony ericsson phones or cold hard cash.

5. do not report news in stanzas and paragraphs of rhymes. even if you are, please make it a bit harder to guess. but i wont accept it anyway.

that is all for now. please bear in mind that the terms and conditions are subject to volatile changes, like the current petrol prices. as for the subscription fee, readers can choose between weekly, monthly or yearly payments - a weekly treat to kfc, a monthly treat to dintaifung or a yearly treat to an epl match at goodison park.

oh yes, good news whose birthday fall in january. if you confirm your subscription within this month, you get a free gift! you get to choose between the lovely anthrex condom or the manly t-rex condom, absolutely free! it is the editor's way of rewarding the early babies. hurry on now, place your orders to get the condoms before it is too late! its not overrr...

cheers,

wth!!! cool... wei jie can i subscribe to your newletter??? :P

505??

Hmm was the riddle really that obvious? Maybe i didnt know the guys well enough, or maybe my thinking of "knowing you guys too well" precludes myself from making the correct guess.

Sooo, who the hell is 505?

This is embarassing...

Let me venture one final guess - 505 is .... Junwei?

PS: Kaiyang, happy belated Bday!!! I would want u to know that i woulda bought u a cake if you were still with us. Happy times.

PPS: Im posting out to depot road coming monday. So Mr KOES and MR SKY, please collect your plaques from Karthigesan, if you ever wanted them.

breaking news: kaiyang is taking half day off today.

according to reliable sources who spoke to him on msn, kaiyang shouted to the world (with his caps) that he will be taking half day off today, which is his birthday. this comes amidst his six-and-a-half days work week, which is found to be at his displeasure as he had actually hoped for a seven days work week. an economist interviewed suggested the lack of overtime pay as a possible factor for his non-overtime. it was carried in previous reports that he always look forward to sundays, not cos of the break but to take home two times of weekday pay. he certainly has a steeply-sloped j curve (okay i made this up).

in yet another report, this time from the tabloid newest paper, he shouted again that it was his gf who influenced his quirky decision. he explained that he had been neglecting his gf for long, and wish to ask her out today so that he can get a treat for lunch. this may also explain why he choose to forgo the extra salary which he could have earned if he were to stay on at work. on this rare occasion, the newest paper carried out a full page advert that screams "HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAIYANG!", proudly sponsered by the people of malaysia.

GEe... Thanks

Thanks you... qun xiang....

HELLO!

Heyoz!

Long time no see the blog le... haha... too busy these days (right now i shouldn't be blogging over here... but who cares anyway? haha...)

Anyway only saw that gathering now... wow... hope you all had fun mans... anyway sadly that day couldn't join u all also... also, the 505 riddle... isn't that so obvious? haha...

Ok... shall update a little about my life! Right now working at the A*STAR pre-depature attachment for 3 months... at the godly place of JURONG ISLAND! Haha... everyday in and out of the island will get to see our gilat personnel and sometimes, dogs... And doesn't get to smell the pollutants except when we need to get off the vehicle to change pass or walk to the building...

Anyway, I'm also currently giving tuition + volunteering at ECO Singapore, an NGO organisation for the youth to increase awareness and take action for the environment! Haha... involved in 2 committees right now... anyone interested (though i highly doubt) can join the forum held on the 15th March... attendance is free, but pls do come not with the mindset for free food and drinks k? haha..

And Happy 21st Birthday, Kai Yang!!! I'm sure u'll have a fun with your loved one(s) today haha!

national treasure

i dont know about it cos i didnt watch the latest sequel, but hey are we scripting national treasure 2 here? goddamn riddle to guess the identity of 505, albeit an easy one. wooo yay lets start a new blog (how about steadyboh?) and everyone sign in with a new pseudonym (eugenes and chuangs do not qualify) and lets start the guessing game once more!

cheers,

hey you there, look at my mane
listen, park ji-sung is my name.
tango, salsa and now belly dancing
damn (#@&^!@!), you had us cursing!

sorry for the inferior last line. i am knocking off.

TAMADE

Mr smartypants tat better be able to explain his fucking "riddle". If u dont convince me (after 505's identity is revealed of cos), im gonna hammer u so hard the next time we meet up.

WAHAHAH !!!

standby standby

wah... i tot i can make afew episode of 'Discovering the Ancient Secret of 505'.

so i suppose i am ah lu right?



Anyway, i don't know if ah lu got such a great taste to listen to such a good song.
highly recommended..

At least 7 out of 8 extra weekend guard duty in local rating and top the chart in MTV rating with a clean 8 out of 8 COS duty.

As the impose of Ah lu, i give a rating of 360 out of 365 platoon DS duty.

Feel free to comment but it will not be entertain.

regards, Lu

hahahahaha....!

if u laugh after writing the red fonts.. then it prove that u are a soldier and u are also abit dumb dumb.

cheers!

Simi LJ !?!

The riddle so cool,
fucking asshole we know too.
Suck my dick real smooth,
and i guess 505 is mr Lu?

Tamade!

The Answer

505, the mystery man
plays catch me if you can

but lo! behold!
This dark deep secret shall be told!

But not in plain words I shall say
The name of 505 this day

So if you solve the following clue
Then shall you know his name so true

For this lanky towering bloke
Is faster than all we slow-pokes

And ah, he's quite the linguist too,
english, hokkien and some melayu.

yelling in the square so red
with two roofs above his head

so hazard a guess my dearest friends
and see if you too can know this mystery man.

LOL!!!!

505

let it be a secret.. a secret that will not be told...

mystery 505

hmm.... lanny??

if i were the prime minister

sometimes the problem with singapore (read: government) is that when dealing with problems, it can only think of textbook solutions and not innovative ones. that is why problems recur. allow me, a humble 'a' level holder (what, you only listen to a scholar?) to give some ideas:

1. introduce a green license plate for cars. this mixture of red and yellow plates allows the owner to run his car as a taxi in the morning, between 7 am to 7 pm and as a private car at night. not only will this encourage entrepreneurship among the masses, it will also introduce much-needed competition in the industry so that pricing will no longer be dictated by a certain company.

2. hide erp sensors under the overhead decorations along orchard road. according to my estimates, taking $1 for every vehicle per 'gantry' passed, one vehicle will earn the govt about $15 for a 400m stretch of road! the best thing about this proposal is that motorists have to complete the stretch of road as they cannot u-turn on the single-way orchard road.

3. to ease singaporeans' fears and doubts on new citizens, all foreign talents must now pass strict tests in order to receive the red passport. other than playing world-class table tennis, foreign talents must also learn psychology so that they can read customers' mind when taking orders at a restaurant, effectively solving any potential language barrier between them.

4. to dispel any thoughts of a coup in our soldiers, there would be another huge top-up of $50 into every nsf's monthly allowance. regulars' pay would not be affected as they are already earning big bucks.

5. my ministers would have to declare their locations and activities during their free time. entries of 'personal friend' as companion is not acceptable. no one is to go to a hotel unless officiating the opening of the hotel.

6. get temasek to invest 51% in state-of-the-art stadiums and swimming pools around the world to have majority stake in them. this will ensure we get a chance to host olympics or world cup in the future. who cares about youth olympics?

7. lastly, i would increase the gst again, then give out gst offset credits once more. this is not a solution to any problem, but just to make the 21 years old mock at the 20 years old.

alrights. back to work. lets meet up again soon to debate who is 505.

HAppy New Year

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!!


CAN YOU GUYS SEE THE BALLOON AT 01:00??

yoyo... Guess what?? Someone's GF staying in my area... haha... think will get to see him quite often... anyway, told him off (jokingly) for not going for the outing and pissing OC (no offence)..

anyway, due to much pressure... here's my department (some MIA) during D&D...







this is a group photo with the hosts: superman; wonderwoman and wolferinea...