re: your paper

this is in response to the queries and comments posted by sapphire, wrong shakira, damn no shaphirra. sorry for that.

anw i must say i dont expect the queries. after 21 years in singapore you are expected to be docile and follow the rules, not question them. in any case, here is the response. say, you are driving your father's volvo (ooh gossip) back to maju camp for ippt and accidentally knocked down the iron picket that says 'oc alpha'. obviously, other than incurring the wrath of oc alpha for occupying the space for his avante (ooh gossip gossip), you would have to pay maju an iron picket right? now on the other hand, if the iron picket accidentally falls on your volvo, who would be responsible? well you can hire a lawyer to fight your case, but lawyers just disappear off with money dont they? it is very much a pro-business environment. as for the question on insurance, i am pleased to announce that our partner insurance company, la'viva do cover such incidents. for a monthly premium fee, you get your reporting profile restricted to friends only, friendster-like. so go ahead, flood me with your gossips with a peace of mind!

i think you have some misunderstandings. the daily, monthly or yearly refers to the payment mode, not the frequency of publishing. the frequency of publishing really depends on you guys, and maybe a little bit on the amount of payment made. just that little bit. but i guess it still returns to your point... but hey, it is not my fault is it?

on the last note, i dont know what you mean when you said you can provide 'guaranteed juicy info', cos all i know is that you are the subject of most gossips now. maybe that is another way of selling yourself into the limelight.

cheers,

your paper

hmm.... sounds good.... but there are a few considerations..

how can the reader be liable to the editor while the editor not be reliable to the reader, especially when the paper is maintained strongly on its 'connection' with the people...
hmm... so does it cover informants insurance incase their guise are exposed??

The option of the monthly newsletter is good but the yearly is absurd... its too long la... and do you have enough news coverage to provide weekly ones?? (gossips dun come cheap you noe)

can i exchange your sub fees with garunteed juicy info??

still... im for YOUR PAPER!!!!!

*PS: I LIKE YOUR FREE GIFT.*

i guess it is time to end the episode of 'Discovering the Ancient Secret of 505'.

and i guess by now, most of u already know that i am not junwei.. and Yes, i am someone close to him.. i'm not his girlfriend nor am i his cousin.. we shared most of the things.. and Yes, up to the extend of different race and sex..

i hate to say this..

Sorry Mr Phua.. I am PS3 aka ah lu

confirmation of subscription to your paper

in response to -ahem- overwhelming demand for your paper (you know my paper? now this is YOUR paper), i have decided to start charging my beloved readers, very much in line with the current socio-economic climate. after all, why be the one getting charged with every little thing when you can charge others instead?

anyway for those interested, please read the following important terms and conditions:

1. the editor (that is me) accepts no responsibility for cases in which readers get the boot from their bosses, literally or not, due to addiction to your paper. so dont come asking me for compensation if you do not notice the boss behind you. a little piece of advice: have a mirror next to your monitor.

2. however, unfair as it may seems, readers are liable for any damage cost incurred as a result of the sacking of the editor from his job at ulu boon lay due to excessive time spent on reporting. it would work out to be $1300 per month until may - $950 to the editor's bank account, $250 to the editor's cpf account, $50 in gst, $30 in service tax and $20 to the community chest. thank you for your support.

3. your paper is a revoluntionary paper. it has a meaningful name for starters (think: lianhe zaobao and lianhe wanbao), but of course its uniqueness lies in its connection to readers. here is how your paper works: readers with gossipy news (like the one on kaiyang) start a conversation with the editor on msn, the editor acknowledges without giving out ntuc vouchers or free samsung phones and you will see your report in no time. that is why i call myself the editor, not reporter because i dont report. i collect information and broadcast it. well it is your paper after all!

4. do not spam the editor's mailbox, be it news or not. strictly no substitution of subscription fees with enticing offers of free sony ericsson phones or cold hard cash.

5. do not report news in stanzas and paragraphs of rhymes. even if you are, please make it a bit harder to guess. but i wont accept it anyway.

that is all for now. please bear in mind that the terms and conditions are subject to volatile changes, like the current petrol prices. as for the subscription fee, readers can choose between weekly, monthly or yearly payments - a weekly treat to kfc, a monthly treat to dintaifung or a yearly treat to an epl match at goodison park.

oh yes, good news whose birthday fall in january. if you confirm your subscription within this month, you get a free gift! you get to choose between the lovely anthrex condom or the manly t-rex condom, absolutely free! it is the editor's way of rewarding the early babies. hurry on now, place your orders to get the condoms before it is too late! its not overrr...

cheers,

wth!!! cool... wei jie can i subscribe to your newletter??? :P

505??

Hmm was the riddle really that obvious? Maybe i didnt know the guys well enough, or maybe my thinking of "knowing you guys too well" precludes myself from making the correct guess.

Sooo, who the hell is 505?

This is embarassing...

Let me venture one final guess - 505 is .... Junwei?

PS: Kaiyang, happy belated Bday!!! I would want u to know that i woulda bought u a cake if you were still with us. Happy times.

PPS: Im posting out to depot road coming monday. So Mr KOES and MR SKY, please collect your plaques from Karthigesan, if you ever wanted them.